Raymond Kinman's NDE

This story was first mentioned in the biography channel's documentary I survived – beyond and back.

San Pedro, California, summer 1966. When I was 9 years old I was a very devoted catholic. At that time I thought I was gonna be a priest. I had 3 brothers and 3 sisters. It was wild, I was a middle child, right in a middle, you know. And I imagine for my parents it was kinda chaotic. They both worked.

It was at the end of a school day, the street was lying with station-wagons, all of the mums were picking up their kids after a school. I was walking down the sidewalk with my friend Peter. And he was telling me about the fact that he was taking judo lessons. He had learnt how to flip his opponent over his shoulder and lie them prone on the ground. I thought "Very cool." Peter took me and he rolled me over his shoulder, but he didn't know what he was doing. Instead of me rolling over, I went down head first and hit my skull on a sidewalk hard. I became pain from the tip of my skull down to my spine, to my toes. It was an explosion. And it rocked me to my core. The blow to my head was so hard, it caused my brain to misfire. And I went into sieges. My tongue buckled back into my airway. I couldn't breathe... and I died. My body went into convulsions and my tongue buckled back into my airway. And I suffocated.

Suddenly I found myself in a place. It was not a place – it was nothing. There was no gravity, there was no color, no darkness, no light, no sensations. I did not know how I got there, where I was, what was happening. I didn't remember the accident. I was utterly terrified. And I remember thinking "You're losing your mind."; "That's what happened to you – you lost your mind." I remember thinking "If you're losing your mind... if you're going crazy – there is diddly-squat you can do about it." And I released at that point, I let go. And as soon as I released, the pleasurable sensations began. Starting with something simple like contentment, and peace. Gradually transforming into feelings of utter bliss. I became aware of a bright point of light. A brilliant tiny pinpoint of a brilliant light that was 10 million times brighter than a sun. As I approached it, it got bigger, and more intense, and more beautiful. And it pulled me in and accelerated... and I got spit out at the other end. In front of me there were giant titanic golden columns rising up. And it was stacked in such a way that it felt like it was a gate or an entrance to something. I was greeted by a being or a spirit... I don't know what this thing was. He said "Raymond, I want to show you some things." And there was this... that I can only call "a download". It was like billions of questions were answered in just a moment. All of creation opened up and shimmered... and I understood. Hefty stuff for a 9 year old. After that big "download" this being said to me "I want to show you who you really are." and he introduced me to God face to face. What God looked like was: when you look at like a photograph of a galaxy... Each one of those little pinpoints of light was God. And each one of those little points of light was worshiping and saying "We love you... I love you." It was beautiful, blissful, unconditional, pure love. I was told by God that it was not my time and I had to go back. And I was like "Not, no no no... you got it all wrong, I am not going back." And once again He told me "It's not your time, you have to go back." I was sent back to my body.

Getting stuffed back into my body was painful and gross. And I remembered what had happened and I was like "I don't wanna be here, I don't wanna be here." I told my mother what happened. And she was a good catholic mother. And she was very concerned and said "I set up the meeting with priest, a parish priest and we will work through this stuff." He told me that since I didn't meet Jesus (I couldn't say that Jesus was there) – that it had probably been a trick of a satan. I was crushed, I remember thinking "If a devil is that good – I don't have a chance."

I psychologically packaged it up and put it away. And I didn't process it. Then in my early 20's I red a story about a near death experience. It was remarkably similar to mine. And I remember it coming gushing out. It was a huge relieve, because I realized that it was real, and it was not the devil. And I was really that important.

I probably think about this 20-30 times a day, maybe more. I wanna go back... I just do. Not now... I'm not in a hurry. But when I die I will have a big smile on my face cause I know what's coming.

Raymond Kinman, male

Was 9 years old when the NDE occurred

Cause of a clinical death: an accident during the martial arts training


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