Frederic Delarue's NDE
Ecrosnes, November 30, 1975. It was one of those winter afternoons in northern France when you get the sensation that the cold breeze is entering your entire body and freezing you, right down to the bone.
My parents were about to drive me to a healer, a few hours away from home, in regards to a small growth on my right foot that I had gotten from the swimming pool lessons at school. My father, Georges, was driving the car. My mother, Claudine, was in the passenger seat. My little brother, Fabrice, who was 5 at the time, was sitting in the back seat behind my dad, and myself, age 12, was behind my mum. My sister, Brigitte, was not part of this trip.
Chartres is a charming tourist town located fifteen minutes west of my parents' farm. It is world-renowned for its majestic gothic Cathedral, its sacred Labyrinth, and its pilgrimage. Chartres is my place of birth and as I also announce, my place of re-birth. It's as if I was born twice in 12 years time. You will understand this better after reading my experience.
To go to the healer's home, we had to pass through the outskirts of Chartres by crossing a national road, equivalent to an interstate highway in the US. This road was feared by many as car accidents were common in that location. It was about 3 o’clock in the afternoon. The sun was extremely bright and low, which was making it difficult for anyone to see. The police were at the intersection to help people cross. I remember hearing the police man tell my dad to go, but because he did not go right away, the policeman waved agitatedly to signal him to move faster. While crossing this national road, my eyes were suddenly captivated by a car, a Citroen DS that I could see from very far away, moving closer and closer so rapidly, that before I could even say anything, struck head-on at the door where I was sitting.
At that time in France, back seat belts were not required, so my brother and I did not have one. The extreme brutal shock of the collision ejected me a few feet above the car before my body crashed like a rock in the middle of the road. My parents’ car, a Renault 16, was still spinning in a circle from the accident. Finally it stopped, by a miracle, at my right ear. My brother was thrown out of the car and thanks to the flexibility of his youth, gently rolled onto a grass area on the side of the road which protected him from being hurt. My mum had some minor chest contusions due to the seat belt but she was OK. My dad was unhurt.
As for myself, my body was badly damaged. My face and ears were bleeding, and my left eye was out of its socket. I sustained many contusions and serious cranial fractures, leaving you to imagine the horrific vision for those who witnessed the scene.
However, for me, who experienced it with my heart and soul, it was one of the most beautiful, powerful, empowering and meaningful moments of my life. It taught me that there is definitely much more out there than what I could ever be able to see or experience with my eyes.
The day that changed my life had finally come. Lying in the middle of the road, I was in a deep coma. My body felt extremely heavy, yet I was feeling so light. Even though it may sound paradoxical, there is no other way to describe this feeling. Heavy, as my body felt like a mountain and I could not physically move or vocally respond, and light, because I was free to spiritually move out of my body, and fly anywhere I wished to, as if infinity was the limit. It was definitely an unusual yet magnificent experience.
Here is a way that can help you to understand this sensation. For those of you who may have had anaesthesia before a surgery, do you recall when your body suddenly warms up a few seconds after the injection? As the anaesthesia progresses through your body, you have the sensation that your head becomes heavier, and just between the moment when this is occurring and before you find yourself deeply asleep, your body and head feel extremely and densely heavy, so that you cannot move or vocally find the energy to respond anymore. This is that very moment that corresponds best to the description of how it felt to be in the deep coma. However, in the coma, you stay in that state until you either go further in the coma, having a Near Death Experience (NDE), or until you come back to your living loved ones, on earth.
In this extra-sensitive state, I was able to hear everything, without being able to respond to anything. Every whisper, word, cry, and scream from anyone at the scene, felt amplified ten or twenty times, sometimes accompanied with echoes. I also could hear someone throwing up, and learned afterwards, that it was a woman whom had been behind our car and saw the accident as it happened. She was emotionally traumatized from seeing how high I was thrown out of the car before my body crashed onto the road. When I heard her, I wanted to give her a big comforting hug. I did not want her to be traumatized for me, because I was just fine where I was at. She was still being treated for emotional trauma after I left the hospital approximately three weeks later.
This paradox of heaviness and lightness was a present part of the moment I was experiencing that lasted many seconds, minutes and hours. This time allowed me to encounter this amazing, brilliant and unforgettable journey in the Light.
Most importantly, I was feeling wonderfully well. In contrast to that, hearing and feeling the pain, the sorrow, and the great suffering from all the people around me, including my parents and especially my dad, whom was very loud in despair, was almost unbearable. I remember very well that I could not understand why people were experiencing so much pain? For whom were they going through this emotional agony? Was it for me? How could it be for me? I was in the most beautiful place I could have ever imagined or could ever be. I was in Heaven! A place of light, of peace, of a love that cannot be found on earth, a love that is not human, a love that embraces you totally and unconditionally, a love that sets you free! Why would they feel this misery? I felt sorry for all of them, for that great suffering state they were in, because I was feeling the greatest. I was already in the highest vibrations and because they were not conscious of it, they were still living the misery of the lowest vibrations that is so common on earth.
I was so light in the Light. If only they could have been with me, I mean, if only they could have felt my feelings, my well-being, my heart, my soul, instead of focusing on the ‘material’ pain of the ‘physical’ me, they would have then felt my happiness and my peace in their hearts. I felt no pain whatsoever, and I wished they could have caressed that feeling of me soaring in that Light. However, a silence within would have been required for them to grasp that sensation, and they were unfortunately way too busy going through the torturing feelings of pain. In order for them to hear and/or feel me, they would have needed to be calm, serene, centred, grounded, in silence, to enter in contact with me this way. And this was very far away from the reality of their moment.
My mum knelt at my side and was softly talking to me. It felt good to hear her voice and to feel the loving presence of my mother, but I was unable to acknowledge her with words. I could only communicate mentally, by telepathy.
Different perceptions of the same moment, same scene; one of freedom, for me, and one of painful emotional attachment, for them!
My dad was crying and screaming, taking all the blame and guilt for doing this to his own son. Many other people were expressing their saddened feelings, for being emotionally moved by the vision of the bloody scene that my body was in.
I felt so much compassion for all of them. Let your imagination go for a moment and see yourself being in a peaceful, serene, soothing, comforting dreamy state, and then suddenly, have an angry crowd, screaming, yelling and crying, with the sounds being amplified ten to twenty times in your ears, into your head that had already suffered of contusions and fractures. Imagine how would you feel? Even a whisper yards away, could be heard very distinctly, as if it was next to your ears.
Those sounds containing the vibrations of agony were very heavy on me. If only they could have felt how I was feeling! I only wished they would have taken a moment to be with me, lovingly, purely and simply, instead of yelling and begging for my return. I was sending light to everyone to calm down their suffering and mentally talking to them, but everyone was too busy in their own experience of the pain to hear or feel me communicating in a way they were not even aware that could exist.
The deep coma I was in, leads me to demonstrate to all of you something that I find very essential. Of course, this was my own experience and I cannot speak for everyone who has been or is still in the coma at the time you are reading this. But I believe that if I experienced it, others may be in the same situation. I offer it to you as my perspective/perception of this incredible experience from someone who has lived through it.
In the deep coma, I was leaning towards the beautiful Light. On the other hand, I had people like my dad, who was begging me to come back to him, who was in need of having the ‘physical’ me back. He was crying, screaming, giving me the palette of suffering on earth. Let me ask you this question. “If you ever had the choice to decide between a beautiful Light of pure welcoming unconditional love, and the earthly human suffering, which one would you choose to go towards to?” The answer comes by itself. If you had to choose between a beautiful place where you feel embraced by a totally pure bright light with love, or a place where you feel the pain and suffering of people’s neediness, the attachment of their emotions to the ‘physical’, as if you are only a body or nothing at all, what would you choose? You would choose the Light, of course!
Back at the scene, I then heard the sounds of the ambulance arriving. I was blessed to have the best nurse I could have ever got for the situation. After being transported into the ambulance, my dad came in, totally out of control, living in a state of constant folly where you do not even remember who you are, and what you are doing. Needless to say, it was not feeling good to hear as it was pushing me out of this world to go towards the garden of stars on the other side. I mentally communicated with the nurse, and told him to get my dad out of here, which he sensed right away. How fortunate I was to have had a nurse to understand the power of mental communication. Or was he a human angel on my path to protect me? He told my dad that I wanted him to leave the truck. My dad refused and aggressively responded (while crying) "Excuse me, I am his dad! So I can stay here. How can he ask something, he cannot talk? The accident is all because of me and I need to be with him." The 'human angel' had to be firm enough to ask him to step out. My dad felt so out of hand. It was sad for him, but at the same time, almost emotionless, I knew I needed to be alone, in the silence of my own Self, to live what is to follow. Again, try as much as you can to be aware that when you are in the Light, you do not have any more emotions of attachment. Those are simply earthly ties. Once we were both in the ambulance, the nurse whispered to me "Now you are OK. Don't worry. You can rest now". And it felt so good and so peaceful. The ambulance left the scene.
I remember that I could see myself from above. I could fly. I could not see any of the physical horrific details, as if the physical being was not the most important. I could fly. I was free and out of the body. This was pure Joy!
Suddenly, I slipped into another world. It felt like being inhaled into another dimension where silence was king. A world of silence! Floating, feet forward, going at fast pace in a totally dark tunnel shaped like a big tube, which would sometimes be slightly rounded and move upward. A bright light was at the end of that tunnel and I was going towards it. I was going faster and faster. I was coming closer and closer to this overwhelming beautiful loving Light. The Light was so bright, a little like the brightness you may experience on earth when your eyes are facing the sun. It felt as if this Light was opening its arms to welcome me with all its Love. It felt so good, so welcoming, so free, so peaceful, and so heavenly.
I was surrounded by ‘Beings of Light’, shaped like small kidney pools. They were everywhere, made of pure love. They all had various density and variations of white and grey. They looked like a substance made of cotton mixed with light. I was told that they are ‘Beings of Light’ and that they are everywhere around us, even on earth, at all times. They are part of our living system, they said. They are used as a gap between our negative emotions, and pure love. The Light became so close now and was so white and bright. It was a colour and a brilliance that you would not be able to find on earth. I had never seen such a bright light before. It was so crisp and bright, yet it would not hurt any eye because it was made out of pure love. It was just magical, fairylike, hypnotic, enchanting and fascinating. I was admiring it, and overwhelmed with pure joy. It was calling me. I felt so light in the Light. I was experiencing the real unconditional love, and how more exciting could it be? Little did I know that it would become even more awe-inspiring, astonishing and empowering as the Angels magically appeared out of nowhere inside the tunnel, and said to me "You are okay. Everything is okay. We are with you. We love you". These words felt like a mother comforting her child with a rainstorm of pure unconditional love. What intrigued me, thinking about it, is that because I felt so small compared to the immensity of this tunnel, and because the Angels were so huge, so tall and big, the ratio of speed seemed different. While I felt like I was going so fast, the Angels did not seem to hardly move as they covered more space in the tunnel. It was amazing. It felt like floating while being transported in the Angels' heavenly arms. The Light became so close that I finally entered into it.
"The day that changed my life had finally come, and I will always cherish that moment with all my heart."
During this time, the ambulance arrived at the hospital, which found me between dimensions for a while; one where I was in the Light, and the other where I was able to hear people talking about me inside the hospital. I remember hearing distinctly the nurses yelling “Hurry up. Hurry up. It’s serious here. He is dead, I think.” I immediately flew outside the ambulance, looking below at the scene, and could see the nurses running towards the ambulance in a state of panic. It took no effort to fly; It happened the very instant I thought of doing it.
They took me inside the hospital while I was looking over the scene from above as we arrived in the emergency room. They prepared me briefly and injected me with something. I don't remember anything, until suddenly, the same way you wake up in the middle of the night before going back to your dream, I went back to my new world in the Light.
In this world of silence, I could feel and hear the vibrations of pure love and some delightful melodies, voices with such purity and clarity, like nothing we can hear on earth. Again, you can notice another paradox here where I talk of silence and hearing vibrations at the same time. This is what was so fascinating and so empowering to live. The lesson is, in order to hear clearly and purely, I had to be in a state of complete silence where I could finally find my Self. Here, no one was crying. Every Being knew that I was protected and loved, in the Light. It felt so good. Everything was on such a High Vibration. It is difficult to explain how I knew it was a high vibration, but I just knew it. It is like you just know it is, without having any doubt. It just is. That is what made it so peaceful, because every experience I caressed and felt, was so pure, and crystal clear. I was just breathing in the moment!
I was left alone for quite some time in my room at the hospital, floating above myself and was quite enjoying it. I felt so free, and so light with no boundaries, no limitations nor restrictions. It was a piece of Heaven. Next, I remembered that it was time to come back and that I had things to do on earth. It was time to get ready to come back. I suddenly felt like I was slowly re-entering, re-adjusting into my body, and the experience was not pleasant at all. Feeling the heaviness, the gravity of the body, which triggered to feel the pain all over again, was like living hell after Heaven. It felt so limiting, like being confined in a small cell in prison. It felt like freedom was over and I did not like it at all.
A nurse came to check me out, and screamed of excitement as if seeing me alive could have caused her a heart attack. She left the room while yelling “He is alive, he is alive. It’s a miracle!” The surgeon came into the room accompanied by his assistant nurses and said “What do we have here. It is impossible he is alive.” As if something went wrong for me to be alive. I could not talk yet but I could hear everything. I could feel his sceptical emotions about the reality I was for him. I could even see at times, even though everything seemed blurry. He did not seem to be very happy that I was alive. It may have disturbed his belief about death. Who knows! Then he talked to me, and I was able to start answering a little. He then left the room and I heard the nurses repeatedly saying that it was a miracle!
The surgeon did a wonderful job putting my left eye back in its socket. He later acknowledged to my parents that I was a total miracle, and the fact that I did not lose my eye was another miracle in itself. The eye popped out of its socket from the brutal force of the accident. Yet, a tiny filament was still attached to it and I remember him saying that it was impossible otherwise, that something or someone must have held that little tiny filament so they were able to fix it properly after putting in a few stitches. Without it, I would have lost my eye for good. I said, while smiling "Thank you, my Angels." I knew they held it so I would not lose my vision. It was such a powerful and overwhelming feeling. I stayed in the hospital for 3 weeks before I was released.
After I arrived home, every time I had to stand up or sit down, I would feel as if my head was spinning, which would make me feel dizzy. It was impossible to take any kind of elevator for many years afterwards. But I was home, alive, with my eyes seeing normally and I was on the mend.
This experience was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. It helped me to understand that I am never alone, and that there are many Angels out there, whose mission is to help me on earth. It also taught me that what I am able to see with my eyes is only about 10 to 15% of what is in this world. This day changed my life forever, as it has expanded the vision and the perception of my life, and life in general. This is a good lesson for everyone.
Now I would like to share some personal insights about what I have learned from having had this NDE experience.
Our perception of things, of life, of people, and the events we go through, can either have a negative affect or empower our lives. Every time we go through an event in our life, we are faced with making a choice, in terms of perceiving this event as bad or negative, or by choosing to see the positive side in every experience we have.
Because I chose to see the positive side of this event, this car accident has inspired my entire life and I will keep cherishing it with the grace that it deserves. It has taught me that no matter how tough episodes of our life may be, or may sound, we have the free will, the free choice to perceive them, as a victim or as a blessing in disguise. When you choose this latter, it changes your life forever and for the better as you allow yourself to accept the bigger picture of that event, even if it does not make any sense right away. The fact to accept it as truth, as Godly, will bring forth an outcome that is bigger than you can ever imagine. I call it blind faith. From that moment on, I blindly trust my intuitions and all that is happening in my life, as I know that, if they are happening to me, it is in the only goal to teach me something and empower me. If I believed in the bad, and in the negativity of events, then it would simply mean that I do not believe in God.
My experience has also taught me a lot about death. We all know of someone whom we loved and who passed away. When that moment occurred in your life, how did you react? Did you find yourself crying? Crying for whom? Crying for them, or for losing the comfortable illusion of attachment, of you being able to touch them? There is a high probability that they were just fine, by reaching to the magnificent Kingdom of the Loving and Embracing Light. So, you may have simply ended up not crying for them after all, but to the illusion you had about the event or life itself. Life never ends. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience on Earth, and not the opposite way around. By acknowledging that, we never die as the soul never dies. The body may die, but the soul continues on its journey, and eventually if it chooses to, will explore a physical life in a different body later on.
After this near death experience, I was reborn at the age of 12, in a new me, for a new life. I will never be afraid of death as I have caressed it, as I have tasted its marvellous colours and flavours. Death is just a beautiful place where freedom and being limitless is king. I like to call it ‘infinitude of expressions’.
Another immeasurable blessing I invite you all to cherish every day of your life is to find a moment to stop your busy life, to stop running everywhere as if life was going to end in the next minute, and to trust and practice, as often as it may be, the power of silence.
It is only in the power of silence within, that you hear God, your inner voice, receive clarity on the many events you went through or you are currently going through, and may find who you truly are.
It is important to share with you, my personal insights about people in the coma and what to do, how to react, when you are faced with the situation in order to help to welcome the one in the deep coma, into your world.
While being in the deep coma, I would have loved to been talked to from the heart, very calmly, gently, softly, mentally, or a soft whisper and being shown the love that is awaiting me back on earth, surrounded by genuine human love. That would make me want to return to my loved ones on earth. Wouldn’t you feel the same way? If people in the deep coma had to choose between the love in the Light, and the love on earth from people who can demonstrate to them sincerely that they love them unconditionally, and convince them of the abundance of love awaiting them on earth, I believe they would choose to come back in an instant. Only most people are unaware of this, and therefore, by expressing their raw, painful emotions of attachment, which triggers the vibrations and sounds of pain and suffering, they may unconsciously persuade the one in the coma to make the decision to go towards the Light.
Additionally, be open to the many different ways of communicating your love and thoughts to the ones you love and to the world. We have learned the way to communicate, in person or not, with our voice, with gesture, with writing, using the phone, and via e-mail. I would like you to consider other ways, such as mental telepathy, that can be so important and the only way to communicate with those in the coma, or those experiencing a NDE or may I even dare to say, those who have already passed away to the radiance of the Light.
Love has no limits. Love has no boundaries. Love has no barriers. Love is infinite. Love can only be found in the mysterious and beautiful kingdom of infinitude, and this world can only be felt from within, from a calm and positive state of being. Illusion made out of selfishness and ownership is not part of this beautiful world of peace.
The beautiful soul that you are, who came to earth for a mission, and finds a home within a physical body, never dies. Your body dies as it is a temporary home to be able to experience life on earth, but your soul is always alive as it is eternally free.
Frederic Delarue, male
Was 12 years old when the NDE occurred
Cause of a clinical death: car crash